like a diamond ...: another surgery??

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

another surgery??

I woke up this morning, climbing out of my depression, knowing in my bones and soul a spirit that can face breast cancer and everything that goes with it – including a lopsided chest.

I met with my plastic surgeon, Dr. Lickstein. He seems to think that I am healing well, and I can get back to exercising in a week (yeah!). He also thinks that we should watch the fake boob for a couple of months to see if it will fall some. If not, he suggests another surgery to exchange the implant with another smaller one. This would be a simpler surgery – 45 minutes he says – with little pain. But I would need to go under anesthesia again.

I’m open to the idea.

like a diamond ...

Before the mastectomy, I saw an MRI image of my invasive breast cancer on a computer screen. This was the day before they did the MRI-guided biopsy. There was nothing vague about it – it looked clear and defined, bright and shiny – like a diamond. When I saw it, I did not know that it was cancer, and I asked the Dr. what else it could be. Oh, a density of fibrous tissue or something, he said. All I knew was that it was different from everything around it, and I have come to trust that my breast cancer is, indeed, some kind of treasure.

Though I write honestly, and sometimes perhaps flippantly and cynically, about my experiences with breast cancer and the medical system, I mean no disrespect to the professionals who treat me. I am incredibly grateful for their knowledge and skills, their very hands(!) – and I am humbled by the way they dedicate their lives (and days and nights) to the health and care of our bodies (my body!). The personalities of my doctors and their assistants, with all of their human variations, truly do bless and charm me.