Sunday, November 25, 2007

into great silence

One of Nancy’s gifts was not a book, but the DVD, “Into Great Silence”.

I have wanted to see the film for a while and, in fact, it was next up on my Netflix cue. But now that I have started watching it, I know that it is a film than I need to own, and watch repeatedly – like prayer.

It is a contemplative film that draws me deep into the mystery of life itself, and leaves me resting in the same Silence as that of the monks.

Especially now, I need to keep my focus on this silence.

The experience of breast cancer is breaking down my old walls of control and visions of “how things are”. When I awaken in the night, I immediately know that things are different now. Life itself is different. I am in a strange (and frightening) land. The old rules no longer apply. And it seems as if I need to discover/uncover a whole new way to be and see. But none of this new way of seeing and being is in my hands.

Silence is the only thing that I have to hold on to.