vegans to be?

Today John and I took the bike (motorcycle) out the back roads to a U-Pick organic farm. The idea is to eat vegan every other night until we get the hang of it, and then maybe go all the way. Tonight we had navy beans with carrots, swiss chard, spaghetti, and butternut squash. Yum! I'm convinced that the problem is with the hormones that the cows and pigs are fed, and the pesticides that are put on the produce. One in every 8 women are turning up with breast cancer. What else could it be? (something seems to be off on the color cast of my camera ...)

morning ramblings

It is important that I be as honest as I can when I write about how things are. And though I am not writing these things for anyone – I am writing for myself – it is somehow important that I put these thought out here, if only for an imaginary you. I have a tendency to present to the world an image of who and how I am that may not exactly jive with what is really going on with me. I can hide behind a mask. I can overly judge how you will react to what I say before I determine what it is that I will say, and I end up fudging the real truth of what’s going on with me to the point where I don’t even know anymore what's going on with me. I think this is called co-dependency in some circles.

It’s not that I want to boldly assert my feelings and my thoughts – but sometimes it is only in writing that I can even figure out what I am thinking or feeling. And it seems important for me to, in some way, integrate this with how I am with others. My outer face.

So – that’s the long story of why I need to write here (and already I’m imagining the reactions of “what an over-analyst!” – jeez – maybe it’s just an inner-critic that needs to be met and dealt with!)

I had too much wine last night.

For awhile now I’ve been telling myself that if I can’t have just one glass of wine, I should just forego the whole thing.

And then I read in this morning’s paper that there is a study indicating that even small amounts of alcohol have been shown to increase incidents of breast cancer in women.

So maybe that is another reason.

I don’t want to evade the reality of what is going on. Sometimes it seems that a little wine helps me to get more in touch with what I am feeling – loosen up, relax, slow down. But there comes a point where the wine becomes a drug, and I know that I am using it to run away.

And I think that I can find my way through breast cancer without having to drink my way through.

The other night my vegan friend, Sharon, was telling me that if I went on a vegan diet, I could reverse the cancer. I’m not sure that, at this point, I would want to count on it, but it does sound like an interesting change in lifestyle that might prevent new cancers from forming. But I need for Sharon to move in for a week to teach me how to cook and eat vegan!