moving on

It has been 16 months since the first biopsy revealed cancer in my right breast. There were MRIs, ultrasounds, more biopsies that showed more cancer, a mastectomy, a reconstruction surgery. And lots of worry.

My mind slowly adapted to the idea of cancer in my body. My mother had died at the age of 59, and here I was 57, and then 58 years old. Would I die early as well?

Yesterday, February 27th, was the 36th anniversary of my mother’s death. It was a day of enlightenment, really – the day that I saw that it was time to move on.

My body is cancer free, and I am getting on with my life. My destiny is to live.

My preoccupation with my breast cancer is over.

And thus officially ends this blog.

Xmas morning

If I can get my desk cleared, I think I will be sort of back to normal.

Last week was a blur. I was too overwhelmed with just coping to try to write. But it seems clear now that writing is a way that I use to navigate my way through the phenomena of life. Perhaps like art, it is a way that I take what is happening and attempt to form something that I can hold in my hands, or look at, or listen to.

Eric and Jubilee and I took a walk in the rain this morning. As the sky cleared and the sun came out, a clear and complete rainbow appeared. Something magical about that, even on Christmas morning.